{"id":13120,"date":"2020-10-27T06:17:11","date_gmt":"2020-10-27T13:17:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/?p=13120"},"modified":"2021-08-19T12:36:51","modified_gmt":"2021-08-19T19:36:51","slug":"the-invalid-of-grape-vine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/?p=13120","title":{"rendered":"The invalid of Grape Vine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The week after my return<\/strong> from Aravaipa<\/a> I was getting progressively worse. The pain increased day after day, making me a bitch to work with as I hobbled, cried and cursed through each work day. I’ve had pulled muscles before, but this felt much, much worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps I have Covid? Breathing was extremely labored, sleep became a thing of the past, and my mind went to dark places the worse I got.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

Cancer? Do I have freaking cancer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thursday night as I’m leaving the office (crawling to the front door actually) I tell a co-worker that if things don’t improve overnight, I might just have to go to a hospital.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Masked up<\/strong>, I drive the few blocks to our local hospital at some ungodly hour in the morning. After many tests and a shot of morphine to make life slightly bearable, they tell me they can’t find anything wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet obviously something is wrong. I hate our healthcare system. The doctors think I’ve just seriously bruised my lungs (hematoma) and my back. They can’t prescribe pain medication due to an overabundance of drug seekers. I get told to take plenty of advil and to buy a heating pad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, our healthcare system is broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I go back to work later that Friday, finish up a few things, then leave for the weekend. If I am dying, I might as well be in Nature. Besides, it’s too late to get my money back on the cabin I have for the weekend. Being an invalid out in the wilderness can only help me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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So plans change<\/strong>, and my invalid self spends time outside Mayer, Arizona, in the grape vine cabin. Solitude and expansive porch views do me well as I try to rest and heal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The surrounding fires<\/strong> from California and New Mexico lit up the skies like a devil’s eyes. Apocalyptic notions run through my head, as I welcome the end of the world in my current condition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I throw myself a pity party<\/strong>, and dive right into a pool of depression. 2020 has been a shit show so far though, so perhaps this is just par for the course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do have big plans in just a couple of weeks, but thinking about having to cancel them bring back the tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

I watch the clouds burst over the grape vine cabin, and just wonder what will happen next…..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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