{"id":4376,"date":"2010-05-13T00:52:00","date_gmt":"2010-05-13T00:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/2010\/05\/13\/because-i-dont-own-a-gun"},"modified":"2017-10-06T07:22:28","modified_gmt":"2017-10-06T13:22:28","slug":"because-i-dont-own-a-gun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/?p=4376","title":{"rendered":"because I don&#8217;t own a gun&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"text-align: center;\">How can it be 630 in the morning, and I\u2019m running late?<br \/>\nI search for my alarm, but it\u2019s nowhere to be found.<\/p>\n<p>The morning routine is just that. I arrive to work late\u2026.<br \/>\nI have no coffee, so the morning is a dull aching fog I swim thru<br \/>\nUntil my time comes.\u00a0 Doctor to see. First time since 1983?<\/p><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">\nArrive on time to piles of more papers. She smiles at me as she hands me a pen.<br \/>\nI think the smile was for show.<\/p>\n<p>In a cramped, tiny room with a stranger, trying to make polite conversation.<br \/>\nI try, but she saw right through me, and I her.<\/p>\n<p>Doctor, please help me, are the words that escape my lips. The pain!<\/p><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">\nLie down. Stand up. Shirt off. Pants down.<\/p>\n<p>How are you, he asks? He doesn\u2019t wait for my reply, but looks at my paperwork.<br \/>\nI usually wait until forty to do this exam, but since you are here\u2026<\/p><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">\nShouldn\u2019t you at least buy me dinner first, I think? Then close my eyes and<br \/>\nLet my mind go blank.<\/p>\n<p>I hear a glove snap, tells me he\u2019ll call me<br \/>\nAnd the door closes.<\/p>\n<p>Back to work. It seems like all the clowns wore their ass hats today.<br \/>\nWhy wasn\u2019t I notified?<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes I feel like a termite, choking on a splinter.<\/p><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can it be 630 in the morning, and I\u2019m running late? I search for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"googlesitekit_rrm_CAowqprcCw:productID":"","_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7315],"tags":[589476293,589476282,589310064],"class_list":["post-4376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-day-in-the-life","tag-589476293","tag-a-day-in-the-life","tag-damn-health"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p99I7P-18A","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4376"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4376\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7304,"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4376\/revisions\/7304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mywalkabout.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}