leaving despair in Sycamore Canyon

4.18.17
I had just returned to work after a few days in Mexico City, and I was excited to tell my friends all about it. I was giving one friend some rosary beads she had asked for, when my best friend appeared at her desk, visibly shaken.
“My fifteen year old niece just died…”
 
A flood of emotions took me over, and I went right back to that fateful day of my own when I got the call about my own sister.
4.19.17
It’s been forever since we’ve spoke, but I get a message from an old girlfriend about her support group for MS. She is so young to have to deal with this disease. I know all too well it’s devastating effects on a person, and I find no words to console her. I tell her she sounds strong, but the words are hollow and empty.
She doesn’t reply back.
4.22.17
 
I wake before the dawn and driving three hours up North. I’m not prepared in any way, no food and little water, but I don’t care. I need to get out of my head and into the wild.
I find Sycamore Canyon, just outside of Williams, Arizona. There is an eleven mile loop that will work, and I start walking.
Four miles in and I get lost. I want to circle the canyon, thinking that is the most logical route for the loop, but I am mistaken.
Further and further I go, off trail and deep into the heart of the wilderness. I hear no other sound than my labored breathing.
but my mind is clear…..
 
I eventually turnaround and retrace my steps backwards. My water is gone, the new formed blisters on my feet are screaming in pain, and the sweat along my brow has crystallized into salt from dehydration.
I find this to be therapeutic to my well being.

4.26.17

In the way of the world today, I see on social media about a family friend that suddenly died. Only twenty two hours earlier she had posted a picture of her granddaughter at a gymnastics meet, and commented on how proud she was of her…..

I’ll be having Counting Crows on repeat for a while, and taking in the advice from Anna begins…

Wench, bring my ale, what say you?